Love or Fear?
I just finished cleaning the main level of my home. My partner, Mike, comes home after nearly 2-weeks on the road and I want him to come home to a clean, peaceful, clutter-free house that feels good to be in. Now, honestly, Mike probably wouldn't even notice if it wasn't "clean" (to MY standards) and he certainly wouldn't be upset if there was just as much pet hair on the rugs as there was before he left. But I care.
My big moment of awareness just now was noticing how good it felt to clean for him out of love instead of fear. When I was married, I had to make sure the house was ship shape and everything was in it's place multiple times a day or I'd have to deal with anger or the silent treatment, subtly-woven insults, and occasionally broken things. So, I was angry and resented my husband, my home, and even my kids because they were supposed to be perfectly in order, too.
It took years to release the trauma from a 15-year marriage to a highly controlling, angry, emotionally abusive, high-functioning alcoholic and today shows that there are still light layers of it hanging around. But they don't hurt anymore. When those moments pop up, it feels like relief and a victory. Because I've made healthier choices for myself. I've done deep work and it shows up in this peaceful, happy body and mind. It shows up in my partnership where there are two healthy humans doing their work separately and together.
One of the ways we keep ourselves stuck is by blaming our past and the people in it for our unhappiness. For the reasons why we can't be happy now or in a healthy relationship or a healthy body. But the past is behind us and we can always make new choices as we move forward.
If you're living from past pain, I know how to help you. I've done it and guided hundreds of clients to move out of the past and into today, plus, looking forward to create a different, happier, future. If it's possible for me, for them, then it is possible for you, too.
My group program's doors are still open. Let's walk through them together. DM me or visit my website now to sign up.
