Why Calm Matters - The Time Stress Broke My Brain

Did you know that high levels of stress actually damage brain cells? True story.

I remember a time when I was still married and living in the UK. I was intensely stressed. In an emotionally abusive marriage with a high-functioning alcoholic, looking like we were living “the” life, but living beyond our means in one of the most expensive places in the world. Sometimes the money ran out. All the way out.

One week, I had budgeted, made my list of essentials, and was doing the shopping with my 3 babes in tow. They were like young kids are, excitable and sometimes loud. It’s a challenge to keep 3 littles wrangled in a grocery store! 😵‍💫

My stress was palpable, but I was keeping my cool with them… I can’t remember if I’d started my no-yelling challenge yet, or not.

🔥I remember the heat rising in my body as I carefully calculated how much the necessities would add up to and the hard decisions between what I’d buy and what I’d have to cope through as I disappointed my kids with every “no, not this time.”

Finally, we got up to the register. One of them was probably crying; I know I was near tears from the bitter disappointment of my life.

In the UK, at least at the time, you inserted your chip card and you had to use a pin - there was no bypassing it.

😳 Suddenly, I stared at that pin pad, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not recall my pin number. It just wouldn’t come. I tried a few times, guessing, but the number just wasn’t there for me. My brain would not do its job.

Embarrassed, angry, and with 3 hungry and confused kids, I apologized to the cashier and the people behind me and left my groceries behind.

As I got my children settled into the car, an unbearable heaviness filled me. I sat in the car and cried and cried. Stress had broken my brain.

Can you relate?

It’s vital to our physical and mental health that we incorporate tools and techniques to help us calm ourselves down. Not just in one stressful moment, but regularly, so that our nervous system recognizes safety in calm and welcomes peace in the body.

At tomorrow's Radiant Happiness: 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm - A Free Masterclass we'll be practicing my favorite, free tool to move our bodies and minds from chaos to calm in just minutes. It's something that you'll get to take with you and utilize anytime anyplace and it's yours to keep. ✨

You still have time to register and join the 40 beautiful souls who are ready to take their first steps toward Radiant Happiness. ❤

#radianthappiness #masterclass #stress #calm #ease #wellbeing #peace #createalifeyoulovenow

Why Confidence Matters

I was judging myself for this photo and I was going to retake it before posting it to promote my Coffee Connections - In Person Meetup last week.

Spot the imperfection.

Right? Which one? Or what imperfection? It's all a matter of perspective, but your perspective matters because it's yours. It's the one you're living from.

For me, it was the lipstick on the mug. I didn't notice it until I'd opened the pic on my bigger desk monitor. I noticed my Inner Critic jump online and get to work, but I called its BS.

Lipstick on my mug makes this not good enough? Nonsense.Thanks for trying to protect me, but you're not needed now. I'm practicing embracing imperfection and showing up imperfectly, so this time, take the backseat because I'm driving.

This is the #Confidence piece of Radiant Happiness: 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm - A Free Masterclass that's coming up on Monday.

See, we can get clear on what we want life to look and feel like, but if we don't have the confidence, the deep inner belief, and trust in ourselves, then we won't be able to turn that vision into our reality. We have to learn how to tame our inner critic and get it working with us instead of against us.

It might seem trivial, but if we’re walking around allowing that overprotective bully to run the show we are missing out on so many opportunities! We’re not even aware of what we’re missing because we’re just avoiding anything that strikes the slightest fear or discomfort into our hearts. But it’s facing fear and being willing to get uncomfortable that helps us create our happiest, most radiant lives.

On Monday at 6pm EST, we’re going to meet that pesky, critical voice. We’ll courageously face it together, learn how it’s trying to help us and why it can hurt so much, and then we’ll learn a practice to help get it supporting us instead of sabotaging us. All we really have to do is get to know it.

Have you registered yet? Be sure to click through the Event Details to the Registration Link to make it official or DM me. You deserve to love yourself and your life!!

Did you miss it? Reach out for a complimentary coaching session to get you on your pathway to happiness!

Why Clarity Matters

Have you ever called to order take out and said, "Hey, just cook me up something good!" Or, closed your eyes and clicked blindly on your Amazon app, adding something, anything to your cart and just hoping for the best?

Of course not!!! How frustrating would that be for both parties! So, instead, when you place an order, you get specific. You get clear. You ask for what you want, you don't just cross your fingers and see what happens.

This kind of clarity matters in life, too. We are constantly creating. Look around you... what do you see? Is it a life you love? Or one that you're barely tolerating?

What order did you put into the Universe or God or whatever, if anything, you call it? Were you clear? Or maybe you've only been asking for what you DON'T want. Uh oh. Bet you've been getting more of it.

You see, we're constantly, but not always consciously, creating our life experience. Maybe because we never learned how so we've just been flinging wishes and hoping some of them land and come back to us.

When we learn how to consciously create, we learn to get clear and specific about what we want in our lives. We learn how to put our attention on those things so that we get more of them... whether it's peace and calm, deeper relationships, a bigger home, self-confidence, a work environment that feeds our creativity, etc...

You can have anything (humanly possible) in your life and only to the extent that you are clear on what that is.

At Radiant Happiness: 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm - A Free Masterclass, we'll begin this process of clarity so that you can be more purposeful in what you create in your life.

You deserve a life you love. Your desires are in your heart for a reason - they're waiting for you. You simply need to learn how to place your order so that what you want shows up.

#clarity #consciouscreation #manifestation #createalifeyoulovenow #freemasterclass #RadiantHappiness

It's My Anniversary!

10 years ago, yesterday, I landed back on US soil and opened to new possibilities. My 3 young kids and I came home for a visit after 2 years in the UK. My then-husband stayed in England to work and though it was rare for me to travel without him, I fought for this trip. I knew I needed it.

It was supposed to be a 3-week visit. After a few days, I noticed myself beginning to relax, smile, and laugh more. I realized that these people who told me they loved me also treated me like they loved me. It felt good. Really good. With thousands of miles between me and my controlling, emotionally abusive husband of 15 years, I discovered that I wasn't as stuck as I thought... I could make different choices, reclaim my voice, and heal my relationship with myself.

And that’s just what I did. Day by day, week by week, with tools and support to create lasting change in my life, and in my well-being, I healed. You can, too.

Want to hear more of my story? How I moved from miserable and stuck to being one of the happiest people I know? Join me for a free masterclass on August 19th - Radiant Happiness - 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm!

No matter where you are or what you're feeling today, it's possible to create a life you love, now. Click Going and then the link to officially register and you're IN!!

#radianthappiness #innerease #calm #confidence #clarity #alifeyoulovenow

3 Words to Release from Your Vocabulary...

I love words. They're powerful. We create our internal and external experience through the words we use every day. I know this, so I'm picky with the words I choose to use and when working with clients, I help them see the weight they're adding to their shoulders and the commitments they're making to their future through the use of their language.

There are 3 words, specifically, that I invite you to release from your vocabulary starting right now.

Let's break it down.

Should - Please don't should on yourself. "Should" adds more pressure, more stress, and when used in reflection (as in, "what I should have done"), it creates an internal discord. The past is past. We can't change it and as Byron Katie says, "When we argue with reality, we lose, and only 100% of the time."

Instead of "should" use more empowering words like, "want," or for bonus points, "choose."

Feel the difference:

• I should be doing something productive!

• I want to be doing something productive.

• I choose to do something productive.

  Being at choice gives you the power, feels lighter, and allows you to take creative control of your life instead of weighing yourself down with shoulds.
  

Always & Never
The words “always” and “never” are commitments; promises to the future that disallow change. For example, “I always make the wrong choice,” or “I’m never good enough,” or “My relationships always fail, “or I never get what I want.”

We are always creating and the words we use are like our Amazon orders, but to the Universe. When we use always or never, we’re telling Source (or whatever you call it) that we want things to stay the same.

Instead, try to adopt more flexible language that allows for growth and change. For instance:

• "I often make thoughtful choices."

• "I'm improving my self-worth every day."

• "I'm learning to cultivate successful relationships."

• "I am open to receiving what I desire."

Notice how these statements shift your mindset from a fixed state to one of growth and potential. This opens the door for new opportunities and experiences to enter your life. You become a conscious creator, instead of an unconscious pattern-repeater. 

The words we choose influence our thoughts, emotions, and actions. By consciously selecting language that empowers us, we can transform our internal and external experiences, lighten our emotional load, and create a life aligned with our deepest desires and values; we can create a life we love now. 

Try noticing and replacing those 3 words with some of the suggestions above for a week or two. Pay attention to how you feel as you do so. Notice what changes or unfolds in your life - your energy, your mood, even changes in your relationships.

Words are magical and every word is a choice. Make yours wisely.

#language #consciouscreation #createalifeyoulovenow #coaching #wellbeing #authenticpositivity #radianthappiness

When is the last time you did something that scared you?

How often do you dip a toe outside of your comfort zone? Do things that scare you, even just a little? When is the last time you said, “Yes!” to something, even when you didn’t know how you could make it happen?

Late last year, I got on a call with a peer of mine. She was beginning to promote a retreat that she’s hosing in Costa Rica this summer. I adore this woman’s energy and feel a shift and an opening every time I’m in her space, tuning into her energy and frequency.

Suddenly, I heard myself telling her that I wanted to join her retreat! In the back of my brain, I heard the chatter of my inner critic about the significant expense and the “shoulds and shouldn’ts.” My sweet subconscious was doing it’s best to protect me from stepping outside of my comfort zone.

But I also know that all growth occurs outside of the boundaries of our comfort zone. Always staying safe stunts our growth.

”How on earth are you going to pay for it?!” my Inner-Critic asked. And I remembered, again, what I have been practicing since I first learned it over a dozen years ago:

“The how is none of your business.” My business is the “what.” The “how” is the business of the Universe, God, Source, the Yada Yada, or whatever you call it. I put my attention on my intention (in this case, to go to Costa Rica for a spiritual retreat) and I say YES! No matter what fears, doubts, or worries come up. I remember to trust the process that I’ve experienced working over and over since I began practicing this. When I say “yes” to something that my heart calls for, the how shows up for me.

But, Tamara! You might say. My subconscious might even say. My answer is, “Shhh…. trust your heart. Trust that inner guidance that is shouting ‘YES!’”

If you’ve led yourself astray in the past, it can be hard to trust yourself again. I get it. We can get in our own way. This is one of the reasons that I teach my clients a 3-part process of identifying their authentic yes or no. It’s something we’ll be practicing at the retreat I’m hosting this weekend!!

After more than 10 years of speaking, coaching, and teaching the work of how to create a life you love now, I’m excited, and a little nervous, to wrap it all up into one gloriously delicious weekend retreat. Is it out of my comfort zone - yes! I’ve never done this before. Am I doing it anyway? YES! Because my heart called for it. Just as much as it called for me to experience a retreat. This month, I’m hosting. Next month, I’m heading to the jungle. Also, excited and a little scared. And that’s ok. That’s what courage is for, isn’t it?

So, if your heart said YES to the Radiant Happiness Retreat, but your brain (inner critic / subconscious status-quo retainer) talked you out of it, just know that you can always change your mind. Let’s chat.

The Women's Spirit Festival is Happening Now!

Are you ready to embark on a journey of empowerment, enlightenment, and sisterhood? We're thrilled to invite you to the Women's Spirit Festival, a 13-day celebration dedicated to the power and potential of women like you.

From March 8 to March 20, immerse yourself in a transformative experience filled with life-changing talks, soul-awakening workshops, and empowering activities. 

Here's a glimpse of what awaits you:

This festival isn't just about empowerment—it's about transformation. It's about coming together as a community to uplift, inspire, and celebrate the incredible women we are and the limitless potential we possess.

Ready to join us? Join the Facebook group, the Women’s Spirit Collective where the festival will be happening from March 8-20. Together, let's ignite our spirits, awaken our souls, and create a ripple effect of positive change.

I’ll see you at the festival! 
:) Tamara

It's time for another one of "Tamara's Happiness Tips!"

This is one that I wish everyone would accept and then apply and practice the tools to support this new belief.

Research in the fields of positive psychology and happiness shows that our external circumstances only influence 10% of our overall happiness! Yet, most of us are walking around thinking, "Well, if that (insert the weather, or the government, or their partner, or their boss, or their whatever...) changed, THEN I'd be happy.

But that's a myth folks, because no matter what changes outside of you, you are still you. A change in your response to external circumstances requires a change in your internal experience of them.

This is definitely one tip that is much easier said than done AND every single one of my clients experiences success in this area because they learn the tools to lower their perception of stress, increase their level of patience, and create and strengthen new neural pathways toward more authentically positive thinking (which, in turn, positively impacts their self-esteem). They commit to the practice and I hold them lovingly accountable until their new practice becomes a habit and they can hold themselves accountable.

"Yeah, but what are the practices and tools, Tamara?!!!" You may be asking. Well, what's right for you might not be the same as which tool is right for another person. I teach a variety of tools because every person is unique and therefore, so is what will work for them. You can book a free 30-minute session with me to help discover which will best serve you. I'd love to support you.

That said, nearly every client benefits from some form of meditation. Whether it's the Quick Coherence Technique that I frequently teach in my masterclasses (it's also on my YouTube channel), a 2-minute breath break a couple of times a day, or another form of meditation, guided or not, allowing a moment or two of stillness is the start of increasing the ability and skill of stilling the mind.

Want to try one right now? Check out my recent I Am meditation. Or, book that call with me (DM me now) and we'll find one that fits into your life right now.

Remember, you can be calmer, more present, and more peaceful in your life no matter what is going on around you. If it's possible for me, it's possible for you. It's just a practice.