It's My Anniversary!

10 years ago, yesterday, I landed back on US soil and opened to new possibilities. My 3 young kids and I came home for a visit after 2 years in the UK. My then-husband stayed in England to work and though it was rare for me to travel without him, I fought for this trip. I knew I needed it.

It was supposed to be a 3-week visit. After a few days, I noticed myself beginning to relax, smile, and laugh more. I realized that these people who told me they loved me also treated me like they loved me. It felt good. Really good. With thousands of miles between me and my controlling, emotionally abusive husband of 15 years, I discovered that I wasn't as stuck as I thought... I could make different choices, reclaim my voice, and heal my relationship with myself.

And that’s just what I did. Day by day, week by week, with tools and support to create lasting change in my life, and in my well-being, I healed. You can, too.

Want to hear more of my story? How I moved from miserable and stuck to being one of the happiest people I know? Join me for a free masterclass on August 19th - Radiant Happiness - 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm!

No matter where you are or what you're feeling today, it's possible to create a life you love, now. Click Going and then the link to officially register and you're IN!!

#radianthappiness #innerease #calm #confidence #clarity #alifeyoulovenow

Are You Busy Wasting Time and Energy?

For the last 3 months I’ve been trying to solve an issue with my website’s pop-up/newsletter sign-up. I had two different pop-ups, two different newsletter sign-ups, and two different lists!!! Every time I sat down to write a newsletter, I tried again to figure out how to get rid of the one that was no longer serving my needs. Yet, no matter what I did or where I looked, it still popped up.

Now, I’m a smart cookie and I can usually figure things out. But I couldn’t seem to manage this one. So, finally, my partner walked into my office at just the right time. He’s well-versed in code and building or fixing websites. I mentioned this problem to him weeks ago, but never actually asked for him to look at it for me. Until that moment. 15-minutes later, my problem was solved.

15-minutes. After months of wasting my time and energy in an area that is not my expertise, he fixes it in 15-minutes.

Sometimes, we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t do it all alone. Sometimes, we really do need to call in an expert. Like with websites… or happiness.

How many of you have spent years trying to manage your stress or think more positively, or simply be happier? Yet, year after year the same struggles pop up, defeating you and keeping you stuck.

Maybe it’s time for you to call in an expert.

I have a client, we’ll call her Lisa. Lisa came to me after years, decades even, of struggling with low self-esteem, holding onto and blaming events in the past for her present unhappiness, and anxiety around change. Not unusual, but definitely hurting her on a daily basis and hindering any possibility of the inner peace and well-being that is authentic happiness.

She called in an expert and in just months she was handling life better, coping with change more easily, and feeling better about herself. In a year, her happiness *score went from 37 - which is extremely low and essentially translates to having little or no experience of happiness in life - to 71!!! Which means having a “good measure” of happiness in her life!!! One year!!!

Imagine what your life could feel like one year from now? My clients notice the effects of learning and practicing new habits of happiness within days of starting coaching with me and in months their experience of life is transformed. They have more confidence, better sleep, deeper relationships, and are generally happier.

The path to greater joy, peace, and wellbeing isn’t necessarily easy and we aren’t taught how to “do” happiness… but it is a skill that can be learned. I would love to be the expert you hire to cut your time from problem identified to problem solved down to a fraction of the time that you could do it yourself!

Ready to experience more peace, ease, and joy in 2024? Let’s chat. My 9-month Radiant Happiness Rebirthed Group Coaching Program kicks off this month!!! Book a call with me to see if it’s a good fit for you and know that with effort, commitment, and expert guidance, a happier life is just around the corner.

* Every client I work with takes a Happiness Assessment to “score” their general level of happiness at the beginning and end of their coaching packages.

The Ripple Effect of Happy Parents on their Kids & the World

As parents, we all want to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children. While this responsibility may seem daunting at times, there is a powerful tool that can significantly impact our children's lives: our own happiness. Numerous studies have highlighted the profound effect a happy parent can have on their kids, shaping their emotional well-being, behavior, and overall outlook on life.

I've seen it firsthand. Years ago, I was an angry woman, taking out my unhappiness on my young children, often in the form of a short-temper and a lot of yelling. The result was bickering children and tons of whining. When I began to take more responsibility for my happiness, and chose to work on taking better care of my physical and emotional health, and began speaking with loving kindness and respect to my kids, everything shifted. They got along better, listened to me, and responded with respect. Our family life became more harmonious overall. This has continued into their teen years and I am frequently grateful for the incredible relationships that I have with my 3 teenagers. They love spending time with me and we have fun as a family. 

Just the other day, 2 of my 3 kids were accompanying me to pick up my groceries just to spend a few extra minutes with me!!! I told them how lucky I felt to have such great kids and my youngest, who turns 14 in September, said, "That's because you're such a great mom!" I mean, come on!!!! It doesn't get much better than that. 

I have a firm belief that we can create a better world, one happier person at a time. It starts with each one of us individually and then it spreads; it's a ripple effect. Our impact on our kids extends far beyond us, so the more positive of an impact we have, the better, don't you think? 

Here are just 3 (of SO many!) ways that our happiness affects our children:

1. Emotional Well-Being: Children are highly attuned to their parents' emotions, often mirroring their feelings and reactions. When a parent embodies happiness and positivity, it creates a warm and nurturing environment at home. As kids witness their parents' contentment and joy, they learn that happiness is possible and a natural part of life. This fosters emotional well-being in children, promoting resilience and a positive outlook on life's challenges.

2. Enhanced Parent-Child Bond: The emotional bond between a parent and child is crucial for a child's development. A happy parent tends to be more emotionally available and responsive, creating a secure attachment with their children. This strong bond lays the foundation for healthy relationships, higher self-esteem, and better communication between parent and child. When you start practicing happiness in their younger years and form these healthy bonds, it creates the foundation for solid, secure & respectful relationships with your kids through the hormonal and often tumultuous teen years!

3. Reduced Stress: Parenting can be challenging, and stress is an inevitable part of the journey. However, happy parents are better equipped to manage stress effectively. By practicing the skills and tools of happiness, parents cultivate patience and composure, reducing the likelihood of parental burnout and creating a calmer and more harmonious family environment. Plus, as we show our kids to manage stress, they learn vital techniques and tools to get them through to adulthood and beyond.

The effect of a happy parent on their kids is profound and reaches far beyond the household. A parent's happiness sets the tone for the entire family, influencing their children's emotional development, behavior, academic & social success, and overall well-being. By prioritizing their own happiness and emotional health, parents can create a supportive and loving home environment, fostering positive growth and empowering their children to lead fulfilling lives. Remember, as parents, our happiness is a precious gift we can give to our children and ourselves.

If you’re ready to boost and build your own happiness, join me for a free, LIVE, 3-day Training to lower stress and increase joy Augst 7 -9!! Live in my private Facebook group OR you can join me in the Zoom Room!

February Purification: Burn Away Harmful Habits and Make Way for Healthier New Ones

According to Ancient Romans, February is a time for purification and cleansing before the transformation of spring begins in March. It follows this period of reflection as the New Year begins, when many of us resolve to start fresh with healthier habits - perhaps giving up sugar or adding daily exercise to our routines. Research shows, however, that by this point in the year, most of us have already given up on those resolutions.

If you committed to new, healthier habits in January, or created a dedicated theme for your year, are you still taking action toward your intention? If not, why not? If not, why not begin again? Purify, cleanse, release, and renew.

Not sure where to begin your purification process? Here are a few suggestions.

Tam’s Top 10 Tips for February Cleansing (and no, I’m not going to suggest a juice cleanse, so stick with me):

1) Start with your closets. Our "stuff" affects our energy, whether we think so or not. Take an hour and Marie Kondo that space! Grab a big box or bag and clear out any casual wear that you haven't worn in a year. Go through your business clothes and clear out anything that no longer fits. If you're not actively taking action toward the body of your dreams, rid yourself of the reminder of what you aren't accomplishing and choose to accept your new normal. Keep the clothes that you feel good in and that make you feel attractive and sexy just as you are. Yes, business-wear can feel sexy. If it doesn't, donate! Finally, look through your fancy dresses or suits and do the same. Keep the ones that light you up and you know for sure you'll wear again (yes, one day we'll be able to join together for big, fancy parties!) and donate the rest.

2. Surfaces!!! If you're anything like me, flat surfaces around the house become a host for piles of papers, books, and other random items that I have no idea where to store. Take the time to figure it out or throw it out! Then, dust or wash so that it looks shiny and new. If it's a dresser, keep it clear except for a few meaningful momentos or a jewelry box. A dining table... use it for dining! A lovely centerpiece will remind you to keep it clean. Invest in some storage if you have pictures or papers that need to be organized. Yes, this one might take longer than an hour and it's worth it to look around and FEEL how clear your space is.

3. Do a mind dump! One of the most cluttered areas in our lives is our minds. Did you know that on average we have 60,000 thoughts a day and 95% of them are the same ones that we had the day before and the day before that and the day before that and... you get the picture. Take 30 minutes to journal out all of the repeating thoughts that keep cluttering your brain space. Ask yourself the question, what thoughts do I keep thinking? Is it a conversation that you wish had gone better or one that you're rehearsing? Is it self-criticism that feels so natural that you barely notice it anymore? It's time to start noticing. All change begins with awareness and intention. So start paying attention and dump those thoughts! (PS - I’m amazing at helping people with this, so if you’re ready to get serious on this subject, contact me!)

4. Digital Detox: Take a day or two off of your devices. I did this in January and it created so much more space in my mind and my day. The things you can accomplish when you stop scrolling! Not to mention, after just 8 hours, I stopped thinking in short Facebook status updates. Do you do that? I did. We have enough natural chatter in our minds, which you’ll be especially aware once you’ve done the mind dump from above; we just don’t need the added conversations that Social Media adds.

5. Speaking of FB… isn’t it time to clean-up your feed? I swear by a carefully curated Facebook Feed for maximum enjoyment and minimum stress when I am on that platform. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be “friends” with every person you’ve ever known in your life. You don’t even have to be Facebook friends with your family. In fact, not being FB friends with one of my siblings is a credit to our relationship. I like him more when I don’t see the things that we vehemently disagree upon.

6. Watch what you’re watching - (Mal)Nourishment comes in many forms. Everything that you’re taking into your body and mind is effecting you. You might not think that 11 o’clock news program is upsetting your sleep, but what are you dreaming about? Watching serial killer shows right before bed? Bet they’re creeping in, as well. Spend a week reducing your TV/Netflix/Other viewing and try watching only programs that are educational or uplifting. Just for a week! Not a whole lifetime. No big, violent action flicks or dark tales of murder and mayhem. Try reading a book instead or watching rom coms. And, if sleep is a trouble spot for you, turn it all off two hours before bed to help your mind settle down before you try to do the same.

7. Peruse the perimeter! Now that you have more time on your hands (since you’re off of your devices… after you finish reading this, obviously), take another look around your home, especially around the walls. What are you stacking or storing that you no longer need? What else can you give away, donate, or trash? Is there an old, ugly couch in the corner that you haven’t bothered to drop at the curb, but you haven't sat on for years? How about your kitchen? A broken robot vacuum that you only wish would work? Do you really need 3 different coffee makers, griddles, or fruit baskets? Clear away the old and make some space for the new (not new stuff! New energy!).

8. Now, clean. You have less to move or go around, so give your home a good clean. Wash those windows, do your annual mopping (wait, is that just me?), and wipe down the baseboards. Give it a refresh. Consider it exercise. Cleaning burns calories, so it’s like a two for one!

9. Time for fire… symbolically or with incense and candles. Now that your home is clear of clutter and clean, your mind is running more efficiently with less to bog it down, so light some sage or your favorite scent of incense, some candles, and then turn on Barry White… wait, wrong topic… Back to the cleanse… Symbolically burn away old energies that no longer serve you. Set an intention to continually cleanse and purify yourself throughout the year to keep this new vibrancy that you’re feeling inside and out.

10. Take a bath! This one is really just for fun, but it fits the theme. You have the candles lit already. Why not top off all of this cleaning and decluttering of your homes (body home and physical home) with a good, hot soak? It’s the epitome of cleansing and purifying. Add some bath salts. Make it a ceremony. Begin again, committed to this new, cleaner, clearer you. Then, rock on with your bad self. ;)

How to Handle Bumps Along the Road of Life - Tools to Get You from Contraction back into Expansion

The Passion Test is like a map or a GPS, guiding you along the path to your ideal life. The formula shows you how to love the journey as much as the destination, but as with any road-trip, sometimes there are bumps along the way. Maybe a portion of the road is closed and you have to take a detour. Perhaps there's an accident up ahead that delays you for longer than you'd hoped. Or, maybe the car breaks down and parts have to be replaced. 

Plenty of obstacles can crop up on the way to our ideal life. So what can we do? How do we get back on track? The answer is simple:

Tools. Anytime something breaks, you pull out a tool to fix it, right? Any time a screw comes loose, or a nail sticks out too far, you grab a tool and put it right again. 

As you walk your path of living and creating a life that is more joyful and fulfilling, challenges arise. Screws come loose. And so, there are tools. 

This week, I'm sharing a specific tool to help you keep your nuts and bolts securely in place. EFT, commonly known as tapping, is an incredible resource to utilize when things begin to feel messy and overwhelming. It's called "tapping" because you use your fingers to "tap" on points on your body. 

It's like having acupuncture at your fingertips, only free, always available, and no scary needles. You can tap on anything at all, physical or emotional and you can't do it wrong. You tap on specific points as you talk (or think) about the issue at hand (no pun intended). 

I'm not an expert, but I have been tapping for a few years now and regularly recommend tapping to clients, friends and family.  Recently, I've become part of a focus group, tapping for parents. It's still astounding to me how much emotional weight can shift with a few rounds of tapping and I've seen it make huge impact on my children in a very short amount of time. 

The Tapping Solution is my favorite resource, but all over YouTube videos and scripts are readily available. I love Brad Yates (he's funny and covers a variety of issues), Carol Look (she's fabulous for helping you break your inner glass ceiling) and Margaret Lynch (have financial issues? This is the one for you!). 

The thing that I love the most about tapping is that you get to be totally honest about how you're feeling. There's no rose-colored glasses going on here. If you're feeling crappy, chaotic, depressed, in pain, angry, or even fantastically happy and successful, you can tap on that. You tell the truth of your experience as you tap. Suddenly, layers start to peel back and underlying issues come to light.

Once you've tapped on the negatives, then you transition into affirmative rounds of tapping, always telling the truth of your experience, and opening up to a new way of feeling and being, using words like, "I want to feel relaxed," or "I choose to let go of this anger," for example. 

Try it out and see what happens for you. Then, come back here or on the Facebook page and let us know! 

I'll be sharing more tools all month long to help you live a life you love now! 

Image courtesy of thetappingsolution.com 

Bite-Sized Chunks of Self-Care

My 8-year-old daughter was administering personality quizzes to everyone in the house yesterday. She asked me, "Are you a social person?" Before I could answer, the other 4 people in the house all shouted an emphatic, "Yes!"

Yes,  I love a good party. I love to connect with people. I thrive in social environments and on the flip-side, I require massive amounts of solitude. My own self-care routines keep me sane. They keep me being a person that I like very much, a mom whom I like and respect. Without it, I get downright grumpy and honestly, even a little mean. 

I hear so many women say they don't have time for themselves. Baloney, I say. We all have the same amount of time in a day, it's how we use it that counts. It's paramount to honor yourself, to love yourself through action, not just thought. 

For almost a week now, I've had my usual abundant "me-time" thrown under the bus of sick kids. So,  how do I, and how can you, keep yourself a priority when you have little ones or sick kids demanding most of your time?  In bite-sized chunks. 

I normally take 30 minutes to an hour on each end of the day to myself. Yoga and meditation in the morning, journaling and meditation at night. During the day, I take a coffee break. I'm alone most of the day, but my coffee break is pretty sacred. 5-minutes during which I don't have to do anything. I can just sit and be.

This week, it's all bite-sized chunks. 5-minutes to stretch upon waking, or right after attending to the child who woke me up with sounds of sickness, you know the kind. 

5-minutes once they're settled to enjoy the coffee that probably won't lift the fatigue of a night of broken sleep. Still, I love the taste of that peppermint mocha. And the silence. 

5-minutes to step outside and breathe-in the hold that Winter still has over Spring here in Michigan. 

5-minutes to read and share a few inspirational posts on Facebook or Twitter. 

5-minutes at a time writing until this post is finished. I relish the brief moments uninterrupted by the need to comfort a child, sick at or on the toilet.

5-minutes to put on some eyes and lips to wake-up this sleepy, un-showered face. The transformation is a meditation in and of itself. 

5-minutes to get on my attitude of gratitude. These flu-type illnesses pass. They go away and we are lucky. My children are, overall, incredibly healthy. 

5-minutes to mindfully eat my food. I must nourish myself to be able to care for my child.

5-minutes to empty my mind and release, release, release. 

Sometimes these chunks of me-time last only a minute or two and that is enough. Enough to treat myself with loving kindness so that I have loving kindness to give back to my family. Enough to stay centered and grounded so I don't get overwhelmed with self-pity at my lack of sleep, solitude or the ability to get anything done. Enough to show the Universe that I value myself and therefore receive value from the Universe in return. 

Here's an old Monday Minute to remind you why self-care is so important, even in bite-sized chunks. 

Thank you for spending a few minutes of your precious time with me. How do you care for yourself when time is short? Share in the comments below or join the conversation on Facebook.