Bite-Sized Chunks of Self-Care

My 8-year-old daughter was administering personality quizzes to everyone in the house yesterday. She asked me, "Are you a social person?" Before I could answer, the other 4 people in the house all shouted an emphatic, "Yes!"

Yes,  I love a good party. I love to connect with people. I thrive in social environments and on the flip-side, I require massive amounts of solitude. My own self-care routines keep me sane. They keep me being a person that I like very much, a mom whom I like and respect. Without it, I get downright grumpy and honestly, even a little mean. 

I hear so many women say they don't have time for themselves. Baloney, I say. We all have the same amount of time in a day, it's how we use it that counts. It's paramount to honor yourself, to love yourself through action, not just thought. 

For almost a week now, I've had my usual abundant "me-time" thrown under the bus of sick kids. So,  how do I, and how can you, keep yourself a priority when you have little ones or sick kids demanding most of your time?  In bite-sized chunks. 

I normally take 30 minutes to an hour on each end of the day to myself. Yoga and meditation in the morning, journaling and meditation at night. During the day, I take a coffee break. I'm alone most of the day, but my coffee break is pretty sacred. 5-minutes during which I don't have to do anything. I can just sit and be.

This week, it's all bite-sized chunks. 5-minutes to stretch upon waking, or right after attending to the child who woke me up with sounds of sickness, you know the kind. 

5-minutes once they're settled to enjoy the coffee that probably won't lift the fatigue of a night of broken sleep. Still, I love the taste of that peppermint mocha. And the silence. 

5-minutes to step outside and breathe-in the hold that Winter still has over Spring here in Michigan. 

5-minutes to read and share a few inspirational posts on Facebook or Twitter. 

5-minutes at a time writing until this post is finished. I relish the brief moments uninterrupted by the need to comfort a child, sick at or on the toilet.

5-minutes to put on some eyes and lips to wake-up this sleepy, un-showered face. The transformation is a meditation in and of itself. 

5-minutes to get on my attitude of gratitude. These flu-type illnesses pass. They go away and we are lucky. My children are, overall, incredibly healthy. 

5-minutes to mindfully eat my food. I must nourish myself to be able to care for my child.

5-minutes to empty my mind and release, release, release. 

Sometimes these chunks of me-time last only a minute or two and that is enough. Enough to treat myself with loving kindness so that I have loving kindness to give back to my family. Enough to stay centered and grounded so I don't get overwhelmed with self-pity at my lack of sleep, solitude or the ability to get anything done. Enough to show the Universe that I value myself and therefore receive value from the Universe in return. 

Here's an old Monday Minute to remind you why self-care is so important, even in bite-sized chunks. 

Thank you for spending a few minutes of your precious time with me. How do you care for yourself when time is short? Share in the comments below or join the conversation on Facebook. 

The Question of the Month

I have decided to take a short break from Your Monday Minute as I put my attention on learning the ins and outs of my business, and myself, for the next 8 weeks in Marie Forleo's B-school. Even though I won't be appearing in video on a weekly basis (though you may get a few, just because I love you so much), I intend (intention!) to write here on the blog more frequently. 

Writing is the way I process. Writing is meditation. Writing is how I explore within. 

I'm exploring the concept of authenticity at the moment, to find the greater truth of what being authentic means to me, so I can show up authentically for you. 

A couple of years ago, to me, the word "authentic" merely applied to things, not people. And it doesn't just mean, "I am who I am and you can all just.." you know the rest. It is more than that. It is showing up in the world speaking your truth, growing into that truth and doing so in the energy of love. 

Today, this word is paramount to my entire existence. Purpose... Meaning... Authentically bringing those things to life passionately within myself to be a light for you to do the same is why I am here. Yes, I believe in purpose. I believe everyone has a life-purpose. For some, the purpose is only to live and experience and learn in preparation for the next life. Their next life.

For others, much of the learning has already been done and they are here to teach, to guide, to reflect, to love, to light the way. 

“ Word Origin: Authentic
from Late Latin authenticus coming from the author, from Greekauthentikos, from authentēs one who acts independently, from auto- +hentēs a doer”

So this month, I'm asking the question, "Who am I?"  Who am I when I am my authentic self? What does "authentic" look like to me. How do I show up in the world and to the world when I am being and feeling, fully, freely and authentically me? From The Passion Test:

“When you are clear, what you want will show up in your life, and only to the extent that you are clear.”

Who are you? What does being authentic mean to you? Please share in the comments below. I appreciate multiple sources for any endeavor into deeper knowledge.  

Your Monday Minute - Feelings Want to be Felt!

Do you ever find yourself judging your feelings as bad or wrong? Like you shouldn't be feeling how you're feeling even though that is what you are feeling? Does that sound futile to you? Me too. 

Byron Katie says, "When I argue with reality, I lose, and only 100% of the time." With that in mind, watch today's episode and then read on! 

Our feelings are natural byproducts of our thoughts. Try to release your judgement of whether your feeling is good or bad and allow yourself to simply be aware of your feelings and actually feel them. Notice what happens. 

There is a wonderful, quick and easy read in the form of an e-book called From Sad to Glad. I encourage you to read it virtual cover to virtual cover. It teaches you how contraction and expansion are a natural part of life and how to gently move through it.

It is everywhere in nature from the flower that opens (expands) during the day and closes (contracts) at night, to Mother Earth expanding in Spring and Summer and contracting through Autumn and Winter. It's how we're made. It is our nature to contract and expand. 

I hope you're feeling good and loving yourself today! If not, that's ok. I love you and I'll see you next week! 

Your Monday Minute - The 3rd Step

Congratulations! You're about to learn the third and final step of the Passion Test Formula for how to create a life that you absolutely LOVE to live! We've covered Intention, Attention and now (drum-roll, please)... No Tension!

 That is the Passion Test Formula! Now, press play below and find out what that means! 

Make sense? These three pieces are just the icing on the cake. To fully step into creating a life you love, to really understand the process, you need to go through it. It's a lot to communicate in just 3 short videos. One vital aspect of the entire formula didn't fit into this week's minute, so be sure to tune in next week because you do not want to miss it.

In the meantime, I promised an example. Remember what I said about getting to the other side of the pool? If we're grabbing on to the water, we're more likely to drown than to get to the other side. We must relax and flow through the water. One passion that comes up for about 80% of my clients is friendship. If you feel like you don't have a few good friends to laugh with, cry with and simply be with, you are not alone. 

Just over two years ago when I took the Passion Test with a Certified Facilitator for the first time, I had just moved overseas to England and felt completely isolated. I remember dropping my kids off at school and longingly watching the easy greetings and conversations shared between a sea of unfamiliar faces. 

One of my top 5 passions turned out to be having an "open-minded, expanded circle of friends" with whom I could have fun and be myself.  I didn't want just any friend, my intention, my passion, was very clear on the kind of friendships that I wanted to cultivate. 

So, I gave friendship my attention. I approached other mothers with children in the same classes as my kids. Even though I felt a bit nervous, I gave my attention to maintaining a state of no-tension. If I had gone up to someone and grabbed her shoulders and said, "Be my friend!!!" Do you think she'd want to be my friend? No way! She'd think I was crazy. 

So, I relaxed in the knowledge that if I simply kept my attention on my intention in a relaxed, peaceful way, friendships would bloom. I trusted the process. I took action (action engages attention) and released the outcome, trusting in my co-creator (God/the Universe) to provide me with the right people and opportunities to create the friendships I so desired. 

It didn't take long before I had an amazing group of friends. A few were those other 'mums' and a few more were further afield and equally incredible. I have never been so blessed with friendship since setting that intention and giving it my attention in a state of no tension. I have never felt so completely loved and accepted by so many incredible people. And do you know what? Quite a few of my marvelous friends were feeling very much the same as I was... they just didn't know (yet) what I knew (The Passion Test!).

Now you know how it works, so you're 3 steps ahead of the rest of the crowd! When you start living life with your Passions leading the way, magic and bliss become an everyday experience. 

I love you! See you next week. 

Your Monday Minute - The 2nd Step of the Formula

Welcome to another edition of Your Monday Minute! Last week we discussed the first step in the Passion Test Process to create a life that you LOVE (click here for a refresher)! This week we're moving on to the second step: Attention. 

What you put your attention on grows stronger in your life. Watch this week's Your Monday Minute to learn more and then, reader, read on!

Make sense? How about a real life example to clarify? Since many of my readers and viewers are parents and nearly everyone else has some experience with children, I'll share with you the story of when I decided to stop yelling at my children. 

I was a big, serious yeller. You wouldn't think it of me, would you? But I'm a passionate person and that translates into every area of my life. I had been on this personal growth and development path for several years (well, a lifetime, really, but that's another topic) when I realized that the old excuses no longer jibed with me. I was at the point where I had become my own coach, calling myself out on any crap I was still throwing out there, like, "What else can I do?" "They only listen when I yell," and other such things you may have spewed a time or two yourself. I felt like a great mom most of the time, but man did I lose my temper a lot. 3 kids + a (kid-like) husband + the stress of life. Good excuses, right? Excuses keep us stuck and I was (and am) on the fast-track of growth. 

As it does, the Universe put a post in my path by a woman who was calling herself The Orange Rhino. There was a 30-day challenge to "yell less and love more." It was just what I needed! I felt so relieved that I wasn't the only one out there struggling with this issue. 

So, I began the challenge and set my INTENTION (remember, part 1 of the formula?) to STOP YELLING. I managed to get a few days under my belt before snapping again and becoming a thunderstorm over my children. Then a few more and eventually almost two whole weeks! Confession: the last 5 of those days were spent in Oslo completing my Passion Test Facilitator training. I slipped just a day or two after getting home. 

I was yelling less and I could see a definite affect on my children, which was great! But I was still yelling far too often to feel good about it. Then, everything that I had learned in Norway clicked into place. What was I putting my attention on again? To "stop yelling." 

My attention was on yelling! When that became clear in my heart and mind I immediately rephrased my intention to "speak with loving kindness to my children." Now, all of my attention was focused on speaking with loving kindness. That's a big difference. Can you see and feel the change in your own physiology when you read those two phrases? 

"Stop yelling" vs. "Speak with loving kindness"

You get more of whatever it is that you are putting your attention on in your life. Set a positive intention, give it positive attention and you'll get positive results. It worked wonders. I still yell once in a while, but there is such a dramatic shift in the energy of my relationship with my children and therefore with myself. I broke the guilt and drama cycle by setting a very positive, loving intention and we have all bloomed because of it. I stepped more profoundly into integrity, as well, which enabled me to love myself more and fully embrace that I really do matter. 

Attention: You Matter!! Now go and act like it and I'll see you next week with the 3rd step in the formula to create a life you LOVE! 

Do you have any examples of how this has worked in your life? We'd love to read them! Please, share below! If this post resonates with you, I welcome you to do that other kind of sharing, too! Share buttons below! 

*** Photo Credit to Harold.Lloyd via Flickr.com

Your Monday Minute - The Formula for Creating a Life You Love!

I made a beautiful meal the other night. I had an idea that I wanted Beef Stir-fry, so in my mind I created the recipe. I need a recipe for basically anything I cook, even if the recipe is very basic. The more detailed the recipe, the more likely it is to turn out just the way that I want in the end. 

The Passion Test Formula is a recipe for life - the recipe for a life you love living; meaningful, fulfilling and joyful. Today, in Your Monday Minute, I'm telling you all about the first step of that formula: Intention. Watch the video and then read on to learn more!

Now you know the first step! You might think it sounds easy. I say that people are always surprised at what ends up in their list of top 5 Passions because it's true. You may have an idea of what is important to you and that's good! It's the process of the "test" that gets you crystal clear on what matters the most, or defines your "ingredients" to keep with my recipe metaphor.

Once we have our top 5 Passions, or "Intentions," (the ingredients!) then we can move on to the next step, which we'll do next week. In the meantime, would you like to know a few of my current top 5? They involve you! 

My current #1 Passion is to feel fully, freely and authentically me! Through the use of "markers" I delve deeper and more specifically into what that means to me. Clarity is vital to making this recipe work. After all, if we don't know what ginger looks like, how can we put it in the pot? 

My current #3 Passion is to be enjoying uplifting, open and joyful relationships! This Passion is scoring very high at the moment. I have the most beautiful, amazing, incredible friends and family. My heart soars frequently. 

Passion #4 is to impact and inspire massive numbers of others to live a passionate, authentic life. Living this way is such a gift that I want to give it away to everyone! 

Come back next week to learn the second step to creating a life that you absolutely love to live. I am walking, talking proof that it works. I love you! You matter!!! 

Your Monday Minute - Courageous New Year

Happy New Year and welcome to the first edition of Your Monday Minute for 2015! This year I've decided to completely throw out resolutions and go with a theme for my new year instead. My theme is Courageous Rebirth! 

So much has changed for me over the last couple of years and dramatically this past year as I fully embraced loving myself and boldly embraced my passions - the things (material or non-material) that matter the most to me. I feel like a butterfly emerging from the Chrysalis. All of this transformation can be a little scary and a lot of stuff comes up each time I move forward along my path. 

As I tell my kids, fear is a product of our imaginations and we can choose to use it for good or for bad (evil sounds far too dramatic)! Which supports you? If we use it for good, we are courageous. Having courage or being courageous doesn't mean we have erased the fear, it simply means we power through it! We do "it" anyway. 

I'm scared of a whole bunch of things - what if I fail as a coach, what if I can't support my kids, what if I'm not really good at this? All of those fears, or limiting beliefs, come from old stories and old programming. Courage is required to bust through those blocks and be who I truly am and do what I'm here on this earth to do!!! Which is to help you to do the same.

Have courage!!! What is it you're afraid of? I've got your back. 

I've shared my theme for 2015, now it's your turn! What is your theme? Please share it in the comments below so that everyone who reads it can support you. You matter!!! 

Your Monday Minute - Say It Out Loud

Over the past several days, two men that I went to high school with have taken leave of their Earthly bodies. Both were far too young to die, both leave behind wives and young children. These are the moments that I was talking about last time, in Look for the Gift. 

The gifts that come from loss are plentiful, though often hard to see through the haze of pain and grief. Situations like these, however, connect near and perfect strangers together. Compassion pours from our hearts for those left behind. Compassion and connection... those are gifts. 

This months' Monday Minutes have been all about gratitude and Thanksgiving is just days away. This week, just a few miles down the road, there will be funerals one day and holiday celebrations the next. This is life. The sad, the joy, the ebb and flow of life. And with it the reminder that it's about more than just knowing what matters, it's about saying it out loud. 

Say it out loud. What is gratitude if kept inside and private? I'm here each week, reminding you how much you matter. Loving you with the intention of you knowing your beautiful worth.  Love and gratitude spread like wild fires and only when we love ourselves enough to share that love and our thoughts and feelings with others. 

So, today, I ask you to be courageous and say it out loud. Tell the people you love how you feel. Show appreciation and say it out loud to the stranger who holds the door for you. Call someone up and tell them you're grateful for them. Give a genuine wave of courtesy and a smile to the driver who lets you go first. Look around you and thank the screen in front of you, the shelter you reside in and the people and animals that share your space. Say it out loud. Spread not only the words of gratitude, but the energy of it. 

You matter. Let others know that they do, too. 

I love you!