Why Confidence Matters

I was judging myself for this photo and I was going to retake it before posting it to promote my Coffee Connections - In Person Meetup last week.

Spot the imperfection.

Right? Which one? Or what imperfection? It's all a matter of perspective, but your perspective matters because it's yours. It's the one you're living from.

For me, it was the lipstick on the mug. I didn't notice it until I'd opened the pic on my bigger desk monitor. I noticed my Inner Critic jump online and get to work, but I called its BS.

Lipstick on my mug makes this not good enough? Nonsense.Thanks for trying to protect me, but you're not needed now. I'm practicing embracing imperfection and showing up imperfectly, so this time, take the backseat because I'm driving.

This is the #Confidence piece of Radiant Happiness: 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm - A Free Masterclass that's coming up on Monday.

See, we can get clear on what we want life to look and feel like, but if we don't have the confidence, the deep inner belief, and trust in ourselves, then we won't be able to turn that vision into our reality. We have to learn how to tame our inner critic and get it working with us instead of against us.

It might seem trivial, but if we’re walking around allowing that overprotective bully to run the show we are missing out on so many opportunities! We’re not even aware of what we’re missing because we’re just avoiding anything that strikes the slightest fear or discomfort into our hearts. But it’s facing fear and being willing to get uncomfortable that helps us create our happiest, most radiant lives.

On Monday at 6pm EST, we’re going to meet that pesky, critical voice. We’ll courageously face it together, learn how it’s trying to help us and why it can hurt so much, and then we’ll learn a practice to help get it supporting us instead of sabotaging us. All we really have to do is get to know it.

Have you registered yet? Be sure to click through the Event Details to the Registration Link to make it official or DM me. You deserve to love yourself and your life!!

Did you miss it? Reach out for a complimentary coaching session to get you on your pathway to happiness!

Why Clarity Matters

Have you ever called to order take out and said, "Hey, just cook me up something good!" Or, closed your eyes and clicked blindly on your Amazon app, adding something, anything to your cart and just hoping for the best?

Of course not!!! How frustrating would that be for both parties! So, instead, when you place an order, you get specific. You get clear. You ask for what you want, you don't just cross your fingers and see what happens.

This kind of clarity matters in life, too. We are constantly creating. Look around you... what do you see? Is it a life you love? Or one that you're barely tolerating?

What order did you put into the Universe or God or whatever, if anything, you call it? Were you clear? Or maybe you've only been asking for what you DON'T want. Uh oh. Bet you've been getting more of it.

You see, we're constantly, but not always consciously, creating our life experience. Maybe because we never learned how so we've just been flinging wishes and hoping some of them land and come back to us.

When we learn how to consciously create, we learn to get clear and specific about what we want in our lives. We learn how to put our attention on those things so that we get more of them... whether it's peace and calm, deeper relationships, a bigger home, self-confidence, a work environment that feeds our creativity, etc...

You can have anything (humanly possible) in your life and only to the extent that you are clear on what that is.

At Radiant Happiness: 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm - A Free Masterclass, we'll begin this process of clarity so that you can be more purposeful in what you create in your life.

You deserve a life you love. Your desires are in your heart for a reason - they're waiting for you. You simply need to learn how to place your order so that what you want shows up.

#clarity #consciouscreation #manifestation #createalifeyoulovenow #freemasterclass #RadiantHappiness

It's My Anniversary!

10 years ago, yesterday, I landed back on US soil and opened to new possibilities. My 3 young kids and I came home for a visit after 2 years in the UK. My then-husband stayed in England to work and though it was rare for me to travel without him, I fought for this trip. I knew I needed it.

It was supposed to be a 3-week visit. After a few days, I noticed myself beginning to relax, smile, and laugh more. I realized that these people who told me they loved me also treated me like they loved me. It felt good. Really good. With thousands of miles between me and my controlling, emotionally abusive husband of 15 years, I discovered that I wasn't as stuck as I thought... I could make different choices, reclaim my voice, and heal my relationship with myself.

And that’s just what I did. Day by day, week by week, with tools and support to create lasting change in my life, and in my well-being, I healed. You can, too.

Want to hear more of my story? How I moved from miserable and stuck to being one of the happiest people I know? Join me for a free masterclass on August 19th - Radiant Happiness - 3 Keys to Cultivate Clarity, Confidence, & Calm!

No matter where you are or what you're feeling today, it's possible to create a life you love, now. Click Going and then the link to officially register and you're IN!!

#radianthappiness #innerease #calm #confidence #clarity #alifeyoulovenow

3 Words to Release from Your Vocabulary...

I love words. They're powerful. We create our internal and external experience through the words we use every day. I know this, so I'm picky with the words I choose to use and when working with clients, I help them see the weight they're adding to their shoulders and the commitments they're making to their future through the use of their language.

There are 3 words, specifically, that I invite you to release from your vocabulary starting right now.

Let's break it down.

Should - Please don't should on yourself. "Should" adds more pressure, more stress, and when used in reflection (as in, "what I should have done"), it creates an internal discord. The past is past. We can't change it and as Byron Katie says, "When we argue with reality, we lose, and only 100% of the time."

Instead of "should" use more empowering words like, "want," or for bonus points, "choose."

Feel the difference:

• I should be doing something productive!

• I want to be doing something productive.

• I choose to do something productive.

  Being at choice gives you the power, feels lighter, and allows you to take creative control of your life instead of weighing yourself down with shoulds.
  

Always & Never
The words “always” and “never” are commitments; promises to the future that disallow change. For example, “I always make the wrong choice,” or “I’m never good enough,” or “My relationships always fail, “or I never get what I want.”

We are always creating and the words we use are like our Amazon orders, but to the Universe. When we use always or never, we’re telling Source (or whatever you call it) that we want things to stay the same.

Instead, try to adopt more flexible language that allows for growth and change. For instance:

• "I often make thoughtful choices."

• "I'm improving my self-worth every day."

• "I'm learning to cultivate successful relationships."

• "I am open to receiving what I desire."

Notice how these statements shift your mindset from a fixed state to one of growth and potential. This opens the door for new opportunities and experiences to enter your life. You become a conscious creator, instead of an unconscious pattern-repeater. 

The words we choose influence our thoughts, emotions, and actions. By consciously selecting language that empowers us, we can transform our internal and external experiences, lighten our emotional load, and create a life aligned with our deepest desires and values; we can create a life we love now. 

Try noticing and replacing those 3 words with some of the suggestions above for a week or two. Pay attention to how you feel as you do so. Notice what changes or unfolds in your life - your energy, your mood, even changes in your relationships.

Words are magical and every word is a choice. Make yours wisely.

#language #consciouscreation #createalifeyoulovenow #coaching #wellbeing #authenticpositivity #radianthappiness

It's time for another one of "Tamara's Happiness Tips!"

This is one that I wish everyone would accept and then apply and practice the tools to support this new belief.

Research in the fields of positive psychology and happiness shows that our external circumstances only influence 10% of our overall happiness! Yet, most of us are walking around thinking, "Well, if that (insert the weather, or the government, or their partner, or their boss, or their whatever...) changed, THEN I'd be happy.

But that's a myth folks, because no matter what changes outside of you, you are still you. A change in your response to external circumstances requires a change in your internal experience of them.

This is definitely one tip that is much easier said than done AND every single one of my clients experiences success in this area because they learn the tools to lower their perception of stress, increase their level of patience, and create and strengthen new neural pathways toward more authentically positive thinking (which, in turn, positively impacts their self-esteem). They commit to the practice and I hold them lovingly accountable until their new practice becomes a habit and they can hold themselves accountable.

"Yeah, but what are the practices and tools, Tamara?!!!" You may be asking. Well, what's right for you might not be the same as which tool is right for another person. I teach a variety of tools because every person is unique and therefore, so is what will work for them. You can book a free 30-minute session with me to help discover which will best serve you. I'd love to support you.

That said, nearly every client benefits from some form of meditation. Whether it's the Quick Coherence Technique that I frequently teach in my masterclasses (it's also on my YouTube channel), a 2-minute breath break a couple of times a day, or another form of meditation, guided or not, allowing a moment or two of stillness is the start of increasing the ability and skill of stilling the mind.

Want to try one right now? Check out my recent I Am meditation. Or, book that call with me (DM me now) and we'll find one that fits into your life right now.

Remember, you can be calmer, more present, and more peaceful in your life no matter what is going on around you. If it's possible for me, it's possible for you. It's just a practice.

Why Should You Hire Me?

Who am I and why you might consider hiring me…

I’m not a divorce coach, but I’ve helped a lot of people through the aftermath of their marriages ending.

I’m not a parenting coach, but I’ve helped many parents reduce their overwhelm and find joy in their relationships with their kids again (even adolescents and teens!!).

I’m not an “empowerment” coach, but I empower every single one of my clients to own what’s beautiful about them, what they could heal or release, and their part in creating a life they love.

I am a Certified Life Coach with decades of experience in:

• Yoga (currently in teacher training after 30 years of practicing!)

• Meditation (certified teacher and 10+ years of personal experience)

• Mindfulness

• Breathwork (comes with the meditation and yoga certifications and I’ve practiced various forms of breathwork for the past 12 years!)

• Self-Love (certified!)

• Happiness (certified!)

• Passion, Purpose, & Clarity (certified!)

• Human behavior, Psychology, Positive Psychology (Bachelor’s of Science with a focus in Family Studies and Community development with a psychology minor and currently taking a Positive Psych course to deepen my study and practice)

• Relationships - specifically healing from toxic marriages ending in divorce and healing what needs to be healed to move into a healthier future relationship. I’ve studied Non-Violent Communication and though I’m no expert (yet!), I practice it in my own relationships and share the basics with my clients.

• Parenting (specifically Conscious Parenting, Love & Logic, and Positive Parenting) - I taught Kindermusic for several years, working with parents and young children, then successfully made it through the adolescence of 3 of my own, and at least 2 are Neuro-Divergent/Gifted. Now they’re 14-18 and still love hanging out with me!

• LBGTQ+ - I’m a volunteer crisis counselor for The Trevor Project, Open-Hearted (some call it bi or Queer), and mom of 2 kids on the Rainbow Spectrum.

• Teens - I taught Enrichment classes to the kids at the International Academy (an International Baccalaureate program) with great success (for the kids - they slept better, stressed-less, decreased procrastination, and were measurably happier by the end of the 8 to 12-week sessions!!).

• Law of Attraction (certified!)

• Spirituality (I’m a recovering Catholic and have studied various religions and forms of spirituality. I even hosted a podcast for 2 years on the topic of spirituality without the guilt!)

• Ho ‘Oponopono (Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness practice)

• Stress-management

• Tapping (EFT)

• NLP

• Ministry (not the band, though I do enjoy them depending on my mood. I’m ordained)

• Group Facilitation

• Public Speaking

• Theatre

• Vocalist

• Human Being (I have occasionally needed to be reminded that I am, in fact, only human - this is a practice, too.)

I combine all of these different areas of study and my own life experience to create a holistic approach to healthy living in body, mind, and spirit. I love me some CBT (T! Not D! ) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy) because it’s so vital to meet ourselves where we’re at and I am open to learning from my children and their therapists!

No, I don’t have a master’s or a doctorate. But I am devoted to learning, studying, observing, and helping. I have (probably too many) certifications and have started far more than I’ve finished.

I’ve lived in 3 different countries and cultures, so I also understand change and transition on a deep, personal level. I’ve been married (16y) to and divorced a French man (think dealing with cultural issues and miscommunications in a relationship) who is also a high-functioning alcoholic and emotionally abusive and was a single mom for 8 years before moving in with my partner 2 years ago.

I’ve worked with babies, toddlers, and young children to the oldest of our beautiful seniors (7 years in Senior Living).

And, perhaps most importantly, I have walked the path from insecurity and low self-esteem to a deeply loving relationship with myself. I can laugh at myself, fully enjoy my own company, and I truly am my own best friend (though I gratefully have several who are not me, too!). I am fun, silly, and serious.

I will hold space for you with such love and reflect your worthiness of love back to you until you believe it and feel it yourself for yourself!

I am ardently committed to self-study, compassionate coaching, and helping people bridge the gap from wishing to creating. From suffering and stuckness to healing and growth. From just getting through life to truly living it.

Every single one of my clients who sticks with the practices that I teach them creates deep, lasting positive change in their lives. And every single group that I speak to, even for just an hour, expresses hope and gratitude that they can make an impact in their own lives through what they learned.

Should you hire me? That’s up to you. But if you do, and you courageously commit to the process, life will open up and blossom for you.

#coachtam #aboutme #tamarazoner #personalgrowth #experience #yoga #breathwork #createalifeyoulove

He Dumped the Contents of our Closet on the Floor...

One time when we were kids, my dad came into the room my sister and I shared and he was ticked about our messy closet. Like seriously angry. He took every shelf out of our closet (there were 8 or 10 between us) and dumped them in the middle of our bedroom floor. It made a huge, gigantic pile of mess. We weren't allowed to leave the room until it was all cleaned up and in order.

Damn, right? But, guess what happened? We moved through that mess item by item, deciding what was worth keeping and what could be tossed. One thing at a time.

It took a little while because no positive change is instantaneous. It hurt a little because saying goodbye to things we've held onto for so long can stir up some grief, but in the end... it was glorious.

We put what we kept back on the shelves all neat and organized like. So much so that we were able to make an entire apartment community for our Barbies. Our closet became a playland that turned into hours of fun for us. And it never would have happened if not for that big, giant mess of our closet's contents in the middle of the floor.

Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and beautiful at the end.

Our minds are just like that closet and at this point in life, they are often pretty darn messy. My sister and I did not want to clean up that mess, but we did it together, had fun along the way, and were so happy and grateful for the result.

Working with me is like cleaning out a closet that you've avoided for years. I'm right there with you, helping you decide what to keep and what to release and we even have some fun along the way. Plus, the results? So, so good. You feel clearer, lighter, and excited about life again.

So, what are you waiting for? Book a Breakthrough Session with me. It's free and you're going to learn something that opens you, expands you, and may even have life-changing impact.

And I know that might be the very reason you haven't booked a call with me before. Because even thinking about change can feel hard and scary. Most human beings hate change and avoid change and there are biological and neurological reasons why. We can talk about why on the call.

I'll say it again: change is hard at first. Messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.

And you can do hard things.
Book your Breakthrough Session Here.
#lowerstress #selfcare #TimewithTamara #youareworthit

Is Life Feeling "Meh," Lately?

Is life feeling a little dull lately? A little "meh?" Like you're living in black and white and the color has seeped out of your experience?

I can remember a time when I thought, "Isn't there supposed to be more to life?"
When we're just schlepping our way through every day, just getting through, it doesn't feel good.

The heavy stuff feels heavier. Harder. Sadder. And maybe you're sick of it, like I was. And maybe, you're not. Maybe you'd just rather stay there in your own misery than do anything about it. Change is hard, I get it. And changing our own thoughts and behaviors is required if we want the world around us to change.

You can't just keep "getting through the day," every day until you die. Or, you can. But I know that there's a different way. One small, baby-step-of-a-change each day can lead to the colors returning to life. More moments of joy, fewer moments of pain. Deeper breaths, a little more ease, a sense of connection to Life again... it's possible for you. If you want to find out how. Send me a message. Let's chat. Or, register now for my free Masterclass, this Friday at 5pm EST, From Struggle to Serenity. Find out more here.

#wellbeing #coaching #lessstress #moreease#createalifeyoulove