Love or Fear?

I just finished cleaning the main level of my home. My partner, Mike, comes home after nearly 2-weeks on the road and I want him to come home to a clean, peaceful, clutter-free house that feels good to be in. Now, honestly, Mike probably wouldn't even notice if it wasn't "clean" (to MY standards) and he certainly wouldn't be upset if there was just as much pet hair on the rugs as there was before he left. But I care.

My big moment of awareness just now was noticing how good it felt to clean for him out of love instead of fear. When I was married, I had to make sure the house was ship shape and everything was in it's place multiple times a day or I'd have to deal with anger or the silent treatment, subtly-woven insults, and occasionally broken things. So, I was angry and resented my husband, my home, and even my kids because they were supposed to be perfectly in order, too.

It took years to release the trauma from a 15-year marriage to a highly controlling, angry, emotionally abusive, high-functioning alcoholic and today shows that there are still light layers of it hanging around. But they don't hurt anymore. When those moments pop up, it feels like relief and a victory. Because I've made healthier choices for myself. I've done deep work and it shows up in this peaceful, happy body and mind. It shows up in my partnership where there are two healthy humans doing their work separately and together.

One of the ways we keep ourselves stuck is by blaming our past and the people in it for our unhappiness. For the reasons why we can't be happy now or in a healthy relationship or a healthy body. But the past is behind us and we can always make new choices as we move forward.

If you're living from past pain, I know how to help you. I've done it and guided hundreds of clients to move out of the past and into today, plus, looking forward to create a different, happier, future. If it's possible for me, for them, then it is possible for you, too.

My group program's doors are still open. Let's walk through them together. DM me or visit my website now to sign up.

#healing #groupcoaching #support #divorce #parenting #selfcare

Pushing Buttons

I never imagined myself to be one who pushes other people's buttons. I'm a middle child, a peacekeeper. I'm moderate everything. I see the gray, rarely the black or the white. I want happiness for all and frequently wonder why it's so hard for people to see both sides or to simply get along. 

Then recently, I noticed that I give a little push. I hear or see the words of those lost in victimhood. They don't even notice it. They say things like, "This always happens to me," or "Story of my life..." and I say, "Oh, no wonder." And then I find myself pushing. Gently, lovingly, but pushing, nevertheless. Mirroring their words back to them so that they can see what they are creating. Some see it. Some don't. But regardless, I willingly reach out and push. 

Few of us know exactly why we're here on this Earth. That existential question plagues so many of us. I am grateful to know exactly why I am here. I am a button pusher. The button? Its label reads, "Growth." 

Why are you here? Need help discovering it? Take the Passion Test with me. It's so much more than you think. 

Getting Vulnerable

I used to be a parenting blogger, blogging 3 or more times a week sharing my experience as a mom. Then I became certified as a coach and facilitator and turned all professional, separating the "mom" me from the "coach" me. I stopped writing, because, frankly, I didn't know how to write for my coaching website without getting personal and I didn't want my mom-blog readers to feel like I was trying to sell them my coaching services. 

My perfect clients are moms, too, yet I was having trouble bridging the gap within myself. Currently, my number 1 Passion is to "feel fully, freely and authentically me!" As I've delved into what being "authentic" means to me (see The Question of the Month post from a couple of days ago), I have realized that I simply can't do that without bringing my journey as a woman and mother into my coaching and website blog. 

For months I've been meditating on how to move forward in my business, asking for clear guidance so that I serve my highest purpose in the world. The funny thing about guidance is that you have to actually pay attention to receive it and because our minds are so beautifully protective of us, they often filter out the very messages that we asked for! 

I keep getting signs to create, relax, release, express... well, finally I get it. It's time to start sharing my experience again, as a woman, mother and professional coach. Because that's how you'll know if we resonate. You and me.

It's how I'll unfold into the most authentic version of myself, relaxing and releasing into me. Writing is how I find my voice. 

That also means being vulnerable and vulnerability is scary. But like I'm always saying, 

So, I'm going to start sharing more of who I am, not just what I know, with you. My ego feels afraid, my heart feels free. Join me on this new adventure, won't you? After all, I am you and you are me (more on that another time!). 

Welcome to my New Website!

For the past few weeks, my affirmativethought.com website has been off-kilter. I'm a creative, not a technical type, so since I was busy with other things, I just let the weirdness that was happening go for a few days. Before I had to bother with support, I was able to log in and update as usual. 

Little did I know, I had been hacked. No matter what I tried, I could not restore my site back before changes were made (that redirected mobile users to a decidedly naughty website), so I decided it was a sign to start fresh! So, here we are. The new site will allow me more flexibility to grow and for you to grow with me. 

I am here to serve women - we are the foundation of our families. So, by extension, I want to serve couples and families as well. The site is currently a work-in-progress, like we all are! It should be fully updated by mid-October, so watch for expanding services as I step more deeply into coaching services with a greater emphasis on couples, families and spirituality. 

Monday Minutes will continue to be a staple, as I believe there may be no greater thing than for women to truly love and embrace who they are and recognize how much they matter. By taking the very best care of yourself, you take better care of the people you care for and about. 

Let us be a living demonstration of love and together, forge a happier world. I love you!